You’re sitting at a family dinner or trapped in a long meeting, half listening, half lost in your thoughts. Then someone speaks with absolute certainty about something they clearly haven’t verified. The room subtly shifts. Voices soften, eyes drift, and the discussion loses its energy. No one objects, yet everything feels different.
We rarely notice the exact words that cause this shift, but those words matter more than we think.
Certain everyday phrases quietly signal that someone is closed off, defensive, or not fully engaging their thinking.
Psychologists don’t label people as unintelligent based on a single sentence. Reality is far more complex. Still, some expressions strongly align with rigid thinking, low curiosity, and limited cognitive empathy.
Once you become aware of them, you start hearing them everywhere.
1. “That’s just how it is” – Curiosity Comes to a Halt
This phrase often lands at the end of a debate like a slammed door. “That’s just how it is.” Short. Final. Unquestionable. The speaker may even sound proud, as if they’ve revealed an undeniable truth.
Psychologists associate this wording with a fixed mindset. It blocks questions before they form. There’s no interest in causes, nuance, or alternative explanations.
When used repeatedly, it suggests a preference for comfort over complexity.
Imagine a coworker unhappy at work. Suggestions come up: learning a new skill, changing roles, talking to a manager. The reply is instant: “No, that won’t help. That’s just how it is.”
The discussion ends. Motivation drains from the room.
Research on intellectual humility shows that people with lower cognitive openness rely more on final, absolute phrases. They feel safer when situations seem fixed and predictable, so their language turns fluid realities into immovable facts.
Psychologically, this phrase acts as a defense. If things “just are,” there’s no need to examine beliefs, habits, or comfort zones.
The cost is high. Over time, repeated use trains the mind to stop exploring.
The most intelligent people tend to say “I don’t know” far more often than “that’s just how it is.”
2. “Everybody knows that” – Imaginary Agreement, Weak Foundations
“Everybody knows that…” sounds powerful. Confident. Supported by an invisible crowd.
In reality, psychologists describe this as an appeal to the majority. It’s often used when someone struggles to defend an idea with facts, so they borrow authority from a supposed consensus.
Frequent use reveals fragile reasoning. The speaker doesn’t explain how they reached a conclusion. They simply declare the discussion finished.
This phrase dominates social media. “Everybody knows rich people cheated.” “Everybody knows men, women, or Gen Z are like this.”
Ask calmly, “Who exactly is everybody?” and the argument often collapses. No data. No research. Sometimes not even a single clear example.
Large studies on misinformation show that people with lower critical thinking scores rely more on phrases like “everyone knows” instead of evidence. The wording replaces proof.
Psychologically, it functions as a social shield. Challenging the idea feels like challenging the group itself.
The more someone leans on an invisible “everybody,” the less their ideas can stand alone.
3. “I don’t care about facts, I go with my gut” – When Intuition Becomes a Trap
Intuition has value. It helps us navigate daily life. But there’s a clear line between trusting your instincts and dismissing reality.
“I don’t care about facts, I go with my gut” may sound bold, but in cognitive psychology it’s a warning sign. It often reflects a low tolerance for mental effort, the work required to evaluate evidence and adjust beliefs.
Confidence is mistaken for correctness.
Picture a friend sharing risky health advice. You send medical articles and expert sources. They skim them and respond, “I’ve seen that, but I trust my intuition.”
Here, intuition isn’t a starting point. It’s the final word.
Research on cognitive reflection shows that people who rely solely on first impressions perform worse on problem-solving tasks. They feel right, even when they’re wrong.
This phrase often masks discomfort with uncertainty. Facts can be messy or contradict personal beliefs. Gut feelings feel simple and reassuring.
Openly dismissing facts is a fast track into intellectual confusion. Strong intuition works best alongside data, not against it.
4. “If you disagree, you’re stupid” – When Attacks Replace Thinking
The words may vary: “Only an idiot believes that” or “You’re brainwashed.” The message is the same.
Psychologists link this language to low cognitive empathy. The speaker struggles to imagine that a thoughtful person could see things differently.
Insults require less effort than curiosity.
In a heated discussion, someone adds nuance: “I see your point, but there’s another angle.” The response snaps back: “So you’re one of those people.”
No questions. No interest. Just a label.
Research shows that people who default to ad hominem attacks perform poorly on logical reasoning tasks. They judge identities instead of evaluating ideas.
Understanding another viewpoint requires holding two perspectives at once. That takes work. Insults avoid that work.
Every time explanation is replaced with insult, collective intelligence quietly shrinks.
5. “I already know that” – A Quietly Closed Door
This phrase can be harmless when used occasionally. Constant repetition turns it into a barrier.
Psychologists describe the illusion of knowledge: mistaking familiarity for understanding.
When someone interrupts new information with “I already know that,” they’re protecting their ego, not expanding their mind.
Think of a training session where a colleague cuts off the instructor, claiming experience. Later, they struggle alone, refusing help.
They recognized the topic, not the skill.
Studies on metacognition show that people who overestimate their understanding often confuse “I’ve heard of this” with “I can use this.”
This phrase often hides fear: fear of looking uninformed, falling behind, or losing status.
The sharpest minds treat familiarity as a chance to refine, not a chance to impress.
6. “That’s just common sense” – When “Obvious” Means Unexamined
“That’s just common sense” feels reassuring. It suggests clarity and simplicity.
In psychology, few complex issues reduce to common sense. Human behavior, health, economics, and relationships regularly defy intuition.
This phrase often avoids data that challenges existing beliefs.
During the pandemic, it appeared everywhere. “Common sense says masks don’t work.” “Common sense says vaccines are dangerous.”
Yet real evidence is detailed, technical, and rarely intuitive.
The Dunning–Kruger effect explains part of this pattern: people with less expertise often feel more certain. “Common sense” quietly dismisses years of study by others.
When lives are affected, relying solely on common sense is dangerously simplistic.
7. “That’s not my fault” – Living Without the Steering Wheel
Some people never take responsibility. Missed deadlines, failed relationships, repeated setbacks are always someone else’s fault.
Psychologists call this an external locus of control. Used sparingly, it reflects reality. Used constantly, it blocks growth.
Think of a friend who keeps losing jobs. Each story blames coworkers, managers, or unfair systems. The question “What could I change?” never appears.
Research shows that chronic blame-shifting links to weaker long-term planning and emotional regulation.
The paradox is painful: refusing responsibility also means giving up control.
Shifting to “Here’s what I could do differently” signals rising emotional and cognitive intelligence.
Responding Without Becoming Condescending
You’ll recognize these phrases in others, and sometimes in yourself. The goal isn’t to judge or diagnose.
Think of them as mental warning lights. When they appear, slow down. Ask better questions. Model a different tone.
Simple prompts like “What do you mean exactly?” can shift a conversation.
Responding with superiority only repeats the pattern. Curiosity works better.
- Notice the phrase instead of reacting instantly
- Ask one open question to invite clarity
- Offer softer wording that leaves room for nuance
- Share uncertainty rather than certainty
- Know when to disengage
Sometimes the bravest sentence is simply: “I want to understand how you arrived there.”
Beyond IQ: What Everyday Language Reveals
These phrases don’t assign intelligence scores. People are complex and inconsistent. Even highly capable individuals use door-closing language when tired or stressed.
Psychology shows that language shapes thinking habits. Repeated phrases reinforce repeated patterns.
You can change that pattern. Replace “everybody knows” with “from what I’ve seen.” Swap “I already know that” for “maybe I missed something.”
Small shifts. No grand transformation.
Over time, the way you speak reshapes how you think and how others quietly assess your intelligence.
